Freestyle - December 2009

Winter dawns these darkened days
Been drawn in to these backward ways
For way too long. Way too long.
And now the dust is finally settling
Better grab the kindling and start upselling
Backpedaling, swimming upstream
Meanwhile the all-around surrounding is so damn obscene
It's a 'me first' world in this place with no stop
Anti-socially accepted by those with the most
Cages and scapegoats, and sugar coated eskimos
Those are the means that are handled by few
A trash talking mindset - A ridiculous concept
Divided we all stand United in gloom
The perfect girl seems light years away
Am I blackened by destiny or will things be okay?
Eventually
If I had more patience things wouldn't be the subject of so much scrutiny.
Hanging on by the threads of futility
Still got the ADD in my head and it's killing me
That a pill can solve problems
Like it or not, half the world's on them.
Only if I had better parents…
Wait a minute, let me paraphrase that statement
If I had more favor, instead of hand me down nightmares
That come in all shapes, all forms and all flavors
Things may be a bit different
Inherently sure of it
But when compared to the majority
Only a fraction compares to what's really holding me close to it.
Excuses are assholes but I still got to roll with them.
So bored - during this lonesome time - a troubled mind - looking into the future - and the days look foggy - Because the times are hardly - a reason to jump out of bed for - or a goal to shoot high for
High all of the time - can't get any higher - spark up the red lighter - and pack a new bowl - inhale the anticipation - exhale the frustration - pop in a dinger - and let your mind feel the warmth
Not thinking about discrepancies - pretending to feel exctasy - it's always escaping me - why is this is so valued?
I know there is a God - and I know he can hear me
I'm calling out for you now - I need you right here
To help take this negative energy out of me
And help me see - what I know I can have - if I just let it go I’m so indecisive sometimes I don’t know what I want
A million different things I guess
But at the end of the day will I always be searching
For something better
What If the best is already in front of me?
And I just can't see it?
I've been through so many challenges during my travels
I've learned from each one.
This is the greatest challenge because I am so close.
I'm so close to something I really want.
I have faith that right now I can decide how my perception is going to take it.
Don't let the past play a trend into the future.
The future is now
And I'm downloading it as we speak.