Freestyle - December 12, 2008

(This is some of my best stuff right here:)


No plan of attack -
No momentum to back up the bolstering -
Boiling points, boiling up because I'm the only one noticing anything.

Hard to find direction with this kind of perspective -
Way too much drama -
Way much more than I least had expected…
Way too much Responsibilities -
To take care of…
Far too more than I was aware of.

Reneging on deadlines -
Still packing the punchlines
Punching out timeclocks -
Like I'm gearing for primetime.

Under the surface the anxiety worsens -
Cursing -
About the time I let go of -
Paradise purposely.

Hard to think when you can't breathe -
Cause dreams don't mean anything
To me - anymore.
Except for a sacred means -
To reclaim all the memories -
Back when everything could be achieved perfectly.
Everything God created for me.

I'm all alone in this quest to stay positive.
And even the simplest things -
Require the greatest of willpower.
Much more than i'm willing to allocate -
at least for right now -
in this present time - a passerby moment.

My mind is high on the auto -
pilot. Flying high…
High in the clouds…up so high now, don't wanna look down.
A long, long way, such a long way -
But mabee just mabee -
if I can glide this plane higher, the sun will break free.

Disaster recovery mode into full effect now -
At least from one thought process.
Everything has been…apparently lost, I guess -
that leaving things leaves many things -
Behind. With nothing left to do.

All your encouragement -
All my malnourishment -
And all of the negative energy that is flourishing here
In this very moment…
I am feeling precocious
Fully submerged, like an sunken old battleship.

The promised land is a concentration camp.
Because it hurts to concentrate -
Compromised -
On things you have -
Little to no realistic control of.