It’s hard a long hard road, a wide open hole, crawling ever so softly, trying to get back on my own - A few ups along the way but mostly down every day, the patience is in me, but I got a lot of complaints - From being too lazy to giving up too easily, you’re not trying hard enough to get where you need to be -
Is what I’ve been told time and time again, forgoing my family and friends, just putting my dead down -
And keep marching forward. The end justifies the means, I’m not being mean, just caught inbetween – a rock and a hard place. Like I don’t even want to wake up and face a stone cold reality, 32 years old, and I haven’t got anything. No girl, no job, no place of my own. Living down like a slob, in my parent’s broken down home. Complacent in the basement, at times I feel ancient, like an afterthought, trying not to let my ill advised placement get in the way of some much needed companionship. But today was a new day and tomorrow will be better . I know that with God on my side, my faith will shelter me through the days when it rains. Working out has been helpful, like my only solace, the only kind of fortitude, the shallow shelter has become like a glue – that holds me up when life gets me down – can’t think about giving up – cause there’s so much more to be found – than what lies besides me. And what lies behind of me is an afterthought, cause I know I got better days, out there in front of me.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Hard Times
‘Hard Times’
by Rick Marshbanks
Staring at a blank computer screen, I was sitting at my desk this afternoon engulfed in complete frustration. The apex of my frustration had to do with making money, or lack thereof. You see, I was actually making more money 10 years ago and I was also in a greater position to advance in my career than I am currently. Yes, this is hard times, indeed. But it wasn’t until after I spoke with a couple of people that I realized what hard times really was.
Every day at 3:00pm, Mike the janitor comes in and cleans my office. As a former “janitor” of sorts in the US Coast Guard, I understand the type of work that these people are subject to and I always try to make it a point to chit chat with the janitors and try to uplift their spirits. It’s a shitty job so the least I can do is to try to be really nice to them and let them know I appreciate their diligence.
I was on my way out the door to take care of some business when I approached Mike. I asked him how his day was.
“Another day in paradise”, he proclaimed.
Given that type of half-hearted response, I could easily ascertain his apathetic demeanor, it was like he was- almost in a daze. And that struck me as kind of odd because Mike is usually full of energy. It was getting close towards the end of the work day and I wasn’t really in that big of a hurry so I started probing a little deeper. A little probing turned into a near 20 minute conversation. It was only after then that I realized what hard times really was.
I quickly learned that Mike wasn’t always a janitor. He actually repaired/installed chimneys for 13 years, making pretty good money at around $18 an hour. This, in today’s bleak economic landscape, is a pretty lofty accomplishment for somebody with no “skills”. But it all went downhill for him last year when the company he worked for went out of business, leaving him unemployed for nearly 8 months. Without a college education to fall back on, the options for him today were pretty slim. In order to try to make ends meet, he took up a janitor’s job for minimum wage, which is around $7 and change per hour. If that wasn’t bad enough, his company does not offer health benefits. However, they do offer plenty of overtime, as Mike stated he’s been working 10-14 hour days for the past few weeks. The company even asked him if he could work this Saturday and Sunday, which Mike was begrudgingly willing to do. “It is what it is” he said. Painfully positive as that outlook is, that’s still hard times.
Mike is no spring chicken. I reckon he’s in his late 40’s – early 50’s. He’s got 4 kids of his own and 2 grandchildren. That’s a lot of mouths to feed. He went on to say that his last paycheck was around $800. Yes, that’s two week’s worth of work, which is slightly higher than what the state of Michigan offers for unemployment benefits. Mike went on to say that his take home was only $350, due to more than half of his pay going to his ex-wife for child support.
“Yep, they screwed me again” he proclaimed with a chuckle.
All chuckling aside, that leaves him $50 short for his rent this month, which he told his landlord he would have the money for him today. Hopefully for Mike, his landlord will be able to cut him a break.
The irony was, it as hard as I tried to interject with a little bit of hard times stories of my own, I was not able to match the ones I was hearing. Here’s a middle aged man with a wealth of specialized experience but no college education working 10-14 hour days, 5 to 7 days a week, getting crappy pay, having to support a family, and still showing up every day with a paper towel in one hand and Windex in the other; ready, willing, and able to work.
“Every day, I’m online putting my resume out there, but I haven’t had any responses. Everybody wants a degree plus 10 years of experience. It sucks. I just don’t have that.”
That’s for sure. Forget Michigan’s economy. That’s hard times wherever you live.
That conversation really opened my eyes. It was then that I really realized that suffering is relative and so are hard times. What one person considers hard times, 10 others out there would die to be in the same situation, or to be given the same opportunities. My epiphany came full circle as I was actually kind of grateful to be given the opportunity to be employed.
A few minutes after Mike and I spoke, I returned to my desk. I grabbed a stack of paperwork and headed to the lab to speak with Lisa, one of the Hydrologists, about a travel claim she had submitted. Lisa is one of the lead scientists in the department and works a lot with the new hires. After a bit of small talk, I finally asked her about the specifics of what she does and what the company looks for in new employees. I was also interested in the credentials of these scientists that work under her. They all seem so smart and I just assumed everyone was making really good money.
“Last year, the government put a hiring freeze on the entire division. We had a lot of people quit and many of the students got their degree and decided to work elsewhere. I really can’t blame them” she said. She went on to say that because of the hiring freeze, all new employees had to be hired as TERM (13 month appointment with an option to extend to 2 years).
“That was my case”, I told her. “I was hired as a TERM.”
She went on to tell me that right before I came onboard, the government was actually trying really hard to eliminate the admin position altogether, in effort to save on resources. For example, they wanted employees in other parts of the country to take on the added responsibilities of the Lansing admin office.
“Your supervisor had to submit a proposal to keep the position active, and then it had to go up the chain of the command to the director, and then finally to OPM (Office of Personnel Management). After a long waiting period, they finally got the approval to keep the position alive as a TERM appointment.” I actually felt pretty damn lucky to be the one selected for such an offer.
I asked Lisa if everyone hired within the past year was TERM. She responded by saying that there is this other category of employment (I can’t remember the acronym for it). Basically, it’s categorized as “as needed”. The theory is that if work is needed, then they can bring you in for hours. But the division is so short staffed as it is, that everyone just works full time. The caveat is, those people are not eligible for health benefits or earned leave. They just show up for work every day with the agreement that at any time, they could be sent home for an undisclosed amount of time.
“What kind of people of people would possibly accept this type of employment?” I asked.
“Oh, grad students, young scientists, and even experienced people that already have their masters or Ph.D. You should see the applicant pool. It’s rather large. Anyway, they are brought in as a GS5, but they are able to advance to higher steps within the pay grade rather quickly.”
Yes, if you are an experienced scientist with your masters or Ph.D., you might be able to come on for work for $30,000 with option to advance to $40,000 a year without benefits. The sad reality is that this does not only pertain to the government sector, it’s prevalent throughout the private sector as well. Welcome to the American Dream, in 2011.
“Wow, hard times” I said.
“Yeah”, she responded, “Hard times indeed”.
by Rick Marshbanks
Staring at a blank computer screen, I was sitting at my desk this afternoon engulfed in complete frustration. The apex of my frustration had to do with making money, or lack thereof. You see, I was actually making more money 10 years ago and I was also in a greater position to advance in my career than I am currently. Yes, this is hard times, indeed. But it wasn’t until after I spoke with a couple of people that I realized what hard times really was.
Every day at 3:00pm, Mike the janitor comes in and cleans my office. As a former “janitor” of sorts in the US Coast Guard, I understand the type of work that these people are subject to and I always try to make it a point to chit chat with the janitors and try to uplift their spirits. It’s a shitty job so the least I can do is to try to be really nice to them and let them know I appreciate their diligence.
I was on my way out the door to take care of some business when I approached Mike. I asked him how his day was.
“Another day in paradise”, he proclaimed.
Given that type of half-hearted response, I could easily ascertain his apathetic demeanor, it was like he was- almost in a daze. And that struck me as kind of odd because Mike is usually full of energy. It was getting close towards the end of the work day and I wasn’t really in that big of a hurry so I started probing a little deeper. A little probing turned into a near 20 minute conversation. It was only after then that I realized what hard times really was.
I quickly learned that Mike wasn’t always a janitor. He actually repaired/installed chimneys for 13 years, making pretty good money at around $18 an hour. This, in today’s bleak economic landscape, is a pretty lofty accomplishment for somebody with no “skills”. But it all went downhill for him last year when the company he worked for went out of business, leaving him unemployed for nearly 8 months. Without a college education to fall back on, the options for him today were pretty slim. In order to try to make ends meet, he took up a janitor’s job for minimum wage, which is around $7 and change per hour. If that wasn’t bad enough, his company does not offer health benefits. However, they do offer plenty of overtime, as Mike stated he’s been working 10-14 hour days for the past few weeks. The company even asked him if he could work this Saturday and Sunday, which Mike was begrudgingly willing to do. “It is what it is” he said. Painfully positive as that outlook is, that’s still hard times.
Mike is no spring chicken. I reckon he’s in his late 40’s – early 50’s. He’s got 4 kids of his own and 2 grandchildren. That’s a lot of mouths to feed. He went on to say that his last paycheck was around $800. Yes, that’s two week’s worth of work, which is slightly higher than what the state of Michigan offers for unemployment benefits. Mike went on to say that his take home was only $350, due to more than half of his pay going to his ex-wife for child support.
“Yep, they screwed me again” he proclaimed with a chuckle.
All chuckling aside, that leaves him $50 short for his rent this month, which he told his landlord he would have the money for him today. Hopefully for Mike, his landlord will be able to cut him a break.
The irony was, it as hard as I tried to interject with a little bit of hard times stories of my own, I was not able to match the ones I was hearing. Here’s a middle aged man with a wealth of specialized experience but no college education working 10-14 hour days, 5 to 7 days a week, getting crappy pay, having to support a family, and still showing up every day with a paper towel in one hand and Windex in the other; ready, willing, and able to work.
“Every day, I’m online putting my resume out there, but I haven’t had any responses. Everybody wants a degree plus 10 years of experience. It sucks. I just don’t have that.”
That’s for sure. Forget Michigan’s economy. That’s hard times wherever you live.
That conversation really opened my eyes. It was then that I really realized that suffering is relative and so are hard times. What one person considers hard times, 10 others out there would die to be in the same situation, or to be given the same opportunities. My epiphany came full circle as I was actually kind of grateful to be given the opportunity to be employed.
A few minutes after Mike and I spoke, I returned to my desk. I grabbed a stack of paperwork and headed to the lab to speak with Lisa, one of the Hydrologists, about a travel claim she had submitted. Lisa is one of the lead scientists in the department and works a lot with the new hires. After a bit of small talk, I finally asked her about the specifics of what she does and what the company looks for in new employees. I was also interested in the credentials of these scientists that work under her. They all seem so smart and I just assumed everyone was making really good money.
“Last year, the government put a hiring freeze on the entire division. We had a lot of people quit and many of the students got their degree and decided to work elsewhere. I really can’t blame them” she said. She went on to say that because of the hiring freeze, all new employees had to be hired as TERM (13 month appointment with an option to extend to 2 years).
“That was my case”, I told her. “I was hired as a TERM.”
She went on to tell me that right before I came onboard, the government was actually trying really hard to eliminate the admin position altogether, in effort to save on resources. For example, they wanted employees in other parts of the country to take on the added responsibilities of the Lansing admin office.
“Your supervisor had to submit a proposal to keep the position active, and then it had to go up the chain of the command to the director, and then finally to OPM (Office of Personnel Management). After a long waiting period, they finally got the approval to keep the position alive as a TERM appointment.” I actually felt pretty damn lucky to be the one selected for such an offer.
I asked Lisa if everyone hired within the past year was TERM. She responded by saying that there is this other category of employment (I can’t remember the acronym for it). Basically, it’s categorized as “as needed”. The theory is that if work is needed, then they can bring you in for hours. But the division is so short staffed as it is, that everyone just works full time. The caveat is, those people are not eligible for health benefits or earned leave. They just show up for work every day with the agreement that at any time, they could be sent home for an undisclosed amount of time.
“What kind of people of people would possibly accept this type of employment?” I asked.
“Oh, grad students, young scientists, and even experienced people that already have their masters or Ph.D. You should see the applicant pool. It’s rather large. Anyway, they are brought in as a GS5, but they are able to advance to higher steps within the pay grade rather quickly.”
Yes, if you are an experienced scientist with your masters or Ph.D., you might be able to come on for work for $30,000 with option to advance to $40,000 a year without benefits. The sad reality is that this does not only pertain to the government sector, it’s prevalent throughout the private sector as well. Welcome to the American Dream, in 2011.
“Wow, hard times” I said.
“Yeah”, she responded, “Hard times indeed”.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Writer's Block
Nothing good to write about
Just watching time tick down
As the boredom sweeps right through the room
My whereabouts are down
Seeping the life right out of my veins
The complacency remains
And all that’s left is me second guessing
Which road will lead to fame?
Working out till the brink of exhaustion
Every waking day
Cause without working out there’s no point getting up
More than words can say
Daydreaming for a better tomorrow
These dreams are broken and so fucking hollow
Like who to care for, who to follow
Down this yellowbrick road
Writer’s block forget me not
I don’t understand now
I thought freedom was free?
I paid the price, I’m just trying to write
But everything seems to get deleted in vein
Trying to broaden my vocabulary
It’s gotten to me, involuntarily
Subconscious thoughts keeping me up
It’s time to start over brand new and fresh
No matter how bad it gets I know God is right by me
Throughout these trials he’s right there beside me
And I might fall down from time to time
But I’ll never stop trying
To make this ship sail straight
Right through the narrow corridor
And into the winds of change
Cause I know there could be so much more
Than what I have to currently show for
An empty bank account, an empty stomach
But on the inside, I’m content
I got my problems, hey everyone’s got them
Mine are just condensed
Just watching time tick down
As the boredom sweeps right through the room
My whereabouts are down
Seeping the life right out of my veins
The complacency remains
And all that’s left is me second guessing
Which road will lead to fame?
Working out till the brink of exhaustion
Every waking day
Cause without working out there’s no point getting up
More than words can say
Daydreaming for a better tomorrow
These dreams are broken and so fucking hollow
Like who to care for, who to follow
Down this yellowbrick road
Writer’s block forget me not
I don’t understand now
I thought freedom was free?
I paid the price, I’m just trying to write
But everything seems to get deleted in vein
Trying to broaden my vocabulary
It’s gotten to me, involuntarily
Subconscious thoughts keeping me up
It’s time to start over brand new and fresh
No matter how bad it gets I know God is right by me
Throughout these trials he’s right there beside me
And I might fall down from time to time
But I’ll never stop trying
To make this ship sail straight
Right through the narrow corridor
And into the winds of change
Cause I know there could be so much more
Than what I have to currently show for
An empty bank account, an empty stomach
But on the inside, I’m content
I got my problems, hey everyone’s got them
Mine are just condensed
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Douchebag Jabroni
Douchebag Jabroni
Nothing ever changes
And people stay the same
The only thing that matters is how you play the game
You got your winners and your losers and people in between
All clinging onto, their hopes, their fears, their dreams
But my dream is so simple, to live a perfect life
No worries over money, no bullshit stupid strife
In one hand got the passion, in the other got my balls
A freelance thought to hold on close to the things that come across
So blatantly ridiculous as singing in the rain
Walking ever so swiftly, like an everlasting pain
That pokes and probes into my skin, it doesn’t go away
As another day is wasted, waking up with such delay
The subconscious mind is a stranger
This time will never be savored
Tormented idealism is favorable
Cause Even Jesus was born in a manger
From rags to riches, but these britches have been burned ages ago
Like a lit cigarette in an ashtray of whoa
These words just won’t condone
A favorable outcome,
Cause fighting with weapons of mass destruction
Levy so much more than what their value is truly worth
And some might say that our future is cursed
But look on the bright side, I still got shades of dignity
Locked behind keyless vaults, of serendipity
Aimless and oblivious to all of my surroundings
Getting older by the minute, man
No more peace, it’s more like pounding
Headaches and mistakes, and misbehaving badly
No money in my pocket now, such a fucking travesty
The root of all evil has become the pinnacle for what to shoot for
If that’s the case, I’ll have you know,
This douchebag jabroni is about to fucking blow
Nothing ever changes
And people stay the same
The only thing that matters is how you play the game
You got your winners and your losers and people in between
All clinging onto, their hopes, their fears, their dreams
But my dream is so simple, to live a perfect life
No worries over money, no bullshit stupid strife
In one hand got the passion, in the other got my balls
A freelance thought to hold on close to the things that come across
So blatantly ridiculous as singing in the rain
Walking ever so swiftly, like an everlasting pain
That pokes and probes into my skin, it doesn’t go away
As another day is wasted, waking up with such delay
The subconscious mind is a stranger
This time will never be savored
Tormented idealism is favorable
Cause Even Jesus was born in a manger
From rags to riches, but these britches have been burned ages ago
Like a lit cigarette in an ashtray of whoa
These words just won’t condone
A favorable outcome,
Cause fighting with weapons of mass destruction
Levy so much more than what their value is truly worth
And some might say that our future is cursed
But look on the bright side, I still got shades of dignity
Locked behind keyless vaults, of serendipity
Aimless and oblivious to all of my surroundings
Getting older by the minute, man
No more peace, it’s more like pounding
Headaches and mistakes, and misbehaving badly
No money in my pocket now, such a fucking travesty
The root of all evil has become the pinnacle for what to shoot for
If that’s the case, I’ll have you know,
This douchebag jabroni is about to fucking blow
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
JBP
JPB (Jobless Basement Pussy)
I gotta get a job – I gotta get a job
I’m 32 years old man I gotta get a job
Anything’s better than sittin on my ass
Collecting unenjoyment – but the checks run out so fast
Can’t do anything in the meantime
Resumes are submitted, like I’m back in the frontline
2006 all over again but at least I had a good time
Right now is not cool, Just feel like a douchebag looser, stereotypical fool
Gotta get the fuck outta this moldy ass basement
Quickly before I get ancient and become like the biggest loser
Except instead of weight loss, it’s confidence declining
Faster than a speeding bullet, grab the trigger, squeeze it and pull it
And put an end to all this
Just kidding on that part, I got too much damn pride to ever give up
I’ll fight till I got nothing left to offer
Too damn talented to be stuck on the bottom
Sucking blood like a leach
Blood thirsty and free
From commitments, relationships, and anything else resembling what 75% of my peers take for granted every single motherfucking day
Damn I need a girlfriend, sucks not getting any attention
Except from myself, from my left and my right hand
And the few random scuzzies, man they’re so fucking ugly
Only pretty on the outside but on the inside they’re nothing
Used to be a player but now I’m a pawn
And the basement is my pawn shop, nothing worth any value
Except for my flatscreen – but I’d trade it all in to be a part of something
I don’t care what it is, I got both my hands up man, I’m fed up with not having anything
To dip my stick into
I gotta get a job – I gotta get a job
I’m 32 years old man I gotta get a job
Anything’s better than sittin on my ass
Collecting unenjoyment – but the checks run out so fast
Can’t do anything in the meantime
Resumes are submitted, like I’m back in the frontline
2006 all over again but at least I had a good time
Right now is not cool, Just feel like a douchebag looser, stereotypical fool
Gotta get the fuck outta this moldy ass basement
Quickly before I get ancient and become like the biggest loser
Except instead of weight loss, it’s confidence declining
Faster than a speeding bullet, grab the trigger, squeeze it and pull it
And put an end to all this
Just kidding on that part, I got too much damn pride to ever give up
I’ll fight till I got nothing left to offer
Too damn talented to be stuck on the bottom
Sucking blood like a leach
Blood thirsty and free
From commitments, relationships, and anything else resembling what 75% of my peers take for granted every single motherfucking day
Damn I need a girlfriend, sucks not getting any attention
Except from myself, from my left and my right hand
And the few random scuzzies, man they’re so fucking ugly
Only pretty on the outside but on the inside they’re nothing
Used to be a player but now I’m a pawn
And the basement is my pawn shop, nothing worth any value
Except for my flatscreen – but I’d trade it all in to be a part of something
I don’t care what it is, I got both my hands up man, I’m fed up with not having anything
To dip my stick into
Friday, May 27, 2011
Short and Sweet
Building bridges to better places
Walking softly, turning pages
Mending fences ever so slowly
Nothing’s worse than feeling all lonely
For the rest of your life, gotta get up early
And continue the fight
Been at rock bottom one or two times
Know what it’s like to feel the hard times
No money No friends No confidence in anything
Like living under a rock sometimes
Just gotta get out and breathe
Take a deep breath and take it all in
And pray to God that the spirit within
Will continue to keep me young, brave, and free
To one day become - all I can be
Proudly walking with a positive outlook
Because life is too short to sit back on the sidelines
Put me in coach, this is my time to shine
Walking softly, turning pages
Mending fences ever so slowly
Nothing’s worse than feeling all lonely
For the rest of your life, gotta get up early
And continue the fight
Been at rock bottom one or two times
Know what it’s like to feel the hard times
No money No friends No confidence in anything
Like living under a rock sometimes
Just gotta get out and breathe
Take a deep breath and take it all in
And pray to God that the spirit within
Will continue to keep me young, brave, and free
To one day become - all I can be
Proudly walking with a positive outlook
Because life is too short to sit back on the sidelines
Put me in coach, this is my time to shine
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
It Rains in May
The secret is out
Tell me a lie
A little white one that makes sense
Because unconditional love
Is a tough act to follow
Goodbye desires and indecencies
Hello frontrunners and complacency
That come with detailed instructions
Batteries not included
Follow the yellow brick road
More like a patch of thorns
Tearing and turning
As the innocence mourns
Can you sleep soundly despite the cries of a scapegoat?
Searching for the antidote
Anxiety is sweeping over this unforeseen forest
Save us from catastrophe
Of mistakes and uncertainty
Collapsing like dominos, right here in front of me
Lets get lost tonight
Through this internet satellite wifi connection
Let the danger go unnoticed
And hold onto what you deem to be closest to
Closets and clothespins
Tornados and whirlwinds
Scatter ever so softly
Into the vast blue horizon
We do anything for the limelight
Cause suffering is relative, consuming like twilight
Brand new features
These blood sucking creatures
Creep into the foreground
Back into the future
Tell me a lie
A little white one that makes sense
Because unconditional love
Is a tough act to follow
Goodbye desires and indecencies
Hello frontrunners and complacency
That come with detailed instructions
Batteries not included
Follow the yellow brick road
More like a patch of thorns
Tearing and turning
As the innocence mourns
Can you sleep soundly despite the cries of a scapegoat?
Searching for the antidote
Anxiety is sweeping over this unforeseen forest
Save us from catastrophe
Of mistakes and uncertainty
Collapsing like dominos, right here in front of me
Lets get lost tonight
Through this internet satellite wifi connection
Let the danger go unnoticed
And hold onto what you deem to be closest to
Closets and clothespins
Tornados and whirlwinds
Scatter ever so softly
Into the vast blue horizon
We do anything for the limelight
Cause suffering is relative, consuming like twilight
Brand new features
These blood sucking creatures
Creep into the foreground
Back into the future
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Facebooking
Anxiety shifting
Society’s thrilling
Friendship is nill
Like the boredom that kills
Time
So much time to waste on this utterly useless user friendly website
Ranting, raving, ever so tritely
Highly unlikely to properly punctuate writing
Say a funny blurb
About somebody’s newly updated status
Upload a picture, another brilliant Kodak moment
Society sucks nowadays,
We all have Facebook to show it
Society’s thrilling
Friendship is nill
Like the boredom that kills
Time
So much time to waste on this utterly useless user friendly website
Ranting, raving, ever so tritely
Highly unlikely to properly punctuate writing
Say a funny blurb
About somebody’s newly updated status
Upload a picture, another brilliant Kodak moment
Society sucks nowadays,
We all have Facebook to show it
Planned out in full
God, give me something positive
To reflect on tonight before I lay my head down
I’m sick of having good dreams and waking up sad
Like the good times are over and this is all that I have
Left over
I may be low on the social totem pole in this very moment
But I know that you have something better for me to focus onto
Planting the seeds of a thirst that needs quenching
Cottonmouth kills slowly, the weeds of distraction
Inside of my blood steam
Turn the key and look inside the mind of a weakening
Heart – beating insufferably
Suffering is relative
To the mindset of the moment
Like breathing underwater
The methodology won’t last too long
Till you come up for air
Take a deep breath and dive down slowly
Into the cracks of an ocean left salty
Instead turn your eyes to the purer streams
Fishing for days, cleansing the mindset
Of things that won’t help you on your journey
To reflect on tonight before I lay my head down
I’m sick of having good dreams and waking up sad
Like the good times are over and this is all that I have
Left over
I may be low on the social totem pole in this very moment
But I know that you have something better for me to focus onto
Planting the seeds of a thirst that needs quenching
Cottonmouth kills slowly, the weeds of distraction
Inside of my blood steam
Turn the key and look inside the mind of a weakening
Heart – beating insufferably
Suffering is relative
To the mindset of the moment
Like breathing underwater
The methodology won’t last too long
Till you come up for air
Take a deep breath and dive down slowly
Into the cracks of an ocean left salty
Instead turn your eyes to the purer streams
Fishing for days, cleansing the mindset
Of things that won’t help you on your journey
Runnin up that Hill (Placebo)
This experience has been humbling, at the least
Mumbling my way out of precarious predicaments
Getting caught by the tomfoolery of an immature mindset
Encouragement is much needed, just need to give a release,
In order for the malnourishment to dissipate and surcease
Thousands of more steps ‘till the priorities keel
Over cause I trip on them
Havin a bad one like the old days back when
Everyone would laugh and make fun of my character
Here is a favor; I’m used to playing the heel
Mumbling my way out of precarious predicaments
Getting caught by the tomfoolery of an immature mindset
Encouragement is much needed, just need to give a release,
In order for the malnourishment to dissipate and surcease
Thousands of more steps ‘till the priorities keel
Over cause I trip on them
Havin a bad one like the old days back when
Everyone would laugh and make fun of my character
Here is a favor; I’m used to playing the heel
Separate My Turn
Supported by these crutches
So weak I have no muscles
To push through this cloud of smoke
And come out all damper, smelling fresh like a rose
Rushing inside these obstacles
Blindsided by the decibel level
That tells tales of failure and misfortune
Looking forward to a future with a role
The evolution of the leech to the prize winning fisherman
Trying to capture to biggest fish in the pond
So weak I have no muscles
To push through this cloud of smoke
And come out all damper, smelling fresh like a rose
Rushing inside these obstacles
Blindsided by the decibel level
That tells tales of failure and misfortune
Looking forward to a future with a role
The evolution of the leech to the prize winning fisherman
Trying to capture to biggest fish in the pond
Monday, May 2, 2011
Inspired by Linkin Park
Shutting down, shutting off
One last breath, let it go
Into a smokescreen
Slowly
There it is
An afterthought
Remember when we had it all?
You and me
Remembering
Happiness was just the thing
That set it out
We set it all down
Our lives were settled
Right in ground
But before the time came - to turn the page
I walked out on you – I regret the day
Scared of growing older already established
Instead I’m growing slower than I ever could have imagined.
One last breath, let it go
Into a smokescreen
Slowly
There it is
An afterthought
Remember when we had it all?
You and me
Remembering
Happiness was just the thing
That set it out
We set it all down
Our lives were settled
Right in ground
But before the time came - to turn the page
I walked out on you – I regret the day
Scared of growing older already established
Instead I’m growing slower than I ever could have imagined.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Not Really a Setback (But Kind Of)
No longer on my own anymore
Humility has rose uproariously
Confidence has declined drastically
But regardless of circumstance, it’s still a major step back.
Its nice to be home but I feel so alone.
Inside of a room where I don’t feel so grown
Up is a mouthful because down brings the nightfall
And at the end of the day, it’s Hairy like Pitfall.
Starting to get ambitiously impatient
But I don’t know what to direct my ambivalence towards.
Friendly confines is like standing upright in the KFC lunch line
Everyone wants grease in their chicken breast wings.
The gym offers recluse from the annoying monotony
The day to day drizzle that stares out in front of me
Never ending, ever endless is the desire to start something new
But the older I get, the longer the odds are skewed
Against my favor
Take it for what it’s worth, this is a period of worthlessness
Drowning in a cup of wintergreen Nyquil
Patience is beginning to wear thin
Where within these bounds is there room to circulate?
The stale air is prevalent yet comforting
Just sucks that my least favorite failure is becoming my everything
Trying to get bigger on the outside
And cleaner on the inside
But in between leaks a much greater compromise
Back in the day, God used to talk to me
Call it a crazy coincidence, but it all used to make sense to me
And now it’s like I found a place that offers placement
More like sleeping on pavement, dreaming of melodies
That tell of good fortune once the cookies are broken
Scaling back the dependencies
Prescription pill popping drug induced indecencies
Blowing up in a cloud of smoke
Are the chances to succeed, if you keep smoking dope
There is no relaxation within a state of confusion
Forgetting the whereabouts of things that are free
Given away motivation at a cheap price usually
Rain drops falling on a scatterbrained rooftop
There is no bottom on the top of a soapbox
There’s only one reason to keep it all in
Don’t want to scare those with a brain and a pen
Otherwise, we celebrate the greatness that suffering yields
Decaying ever so rapidly, is the state of our nothingness
Sticky fingertips give way to long hands and deep pockets
Searching for change to pay their way modestly
Claustrophobia perhaps could be less prevalent
Complaining about it could more or less be irrelevant
Than the last page of rambling transcript deciphered in here
Conditions are slightly better in the footnotes of poverty
Paying back debts that weigh heavy like gravity
Slowly but surely, we are breaking away from the forces that bind
Blinded by the better half
Surrounded in the aftermath
Of a much brighter future
That lies ahead in the distant path
Gotta get up move, it’s 3:00am on a Wednesday
Turn the clock backwards, let’s pretend that it’s yesterday
Romanticizing in a recliner chair, in the midst of a rain delay
Quite frankly, Lady Luck hasn’t been too lucky of late
It’s hard to get over when the main event is in the preliminary bout
Without any ring music, jerking the curtain
Lets take nothing away from the credentials
A miserable footprint in the pathway of principles
Better look closer. Because Goals and dreams are objects of fear
Objectively speaking, as the moment appears
In the rearview mirror, a distant distortion
Blatantly reported like it’s the news of the day
A little bit rusty but you know what they say
The squeaky wheel always gets the grease
Hate if you must, appease if you will
Forgiveness is just another bottle of pills
That you take down with water
Drowning in the bitter solitude that life has to offer
Humility has rose uproariously
Confidence has declined drastically
But regardless of circumstance, it’s still a major step back.
Its nice to be home but I feel so alone.
Inside of a room where I don’t feel so grown
Up is a mouthful because down brings the nightfall
And at the end of the day, it’s Hairy like Pitfall.
Starting to get ambitiously impatient
But I don’t know what to direct my ambivalence towards.
Friendly confines is like standing upright in the KFC lunch line
Everyone wants grease in their chicken breast wings.
The gym offers recluse from the annoying monotony
The day to day drizzle that stares out in front of me
Never ending, ever endless is the desire to start something new
But the older I get, the longer the odds are skewed
Against my favor
Take it for what it’s worth, this is a period of worthlessness
Drowning in a cup of wintergreen Nyquil
Patience is beginning to wear thin
Where within these bounds is there room to circulate?
The stale air is prevalent yet comforting
Just sucks that my least favorite failure is becoming my everything
Trying to get bigger on the outside
And cleaner on the inside
But in between leaks a much greater compromise
Back in the day, God used to talk to me
Call it a crazy coincidence, but it all used to make sense to me
And now it’s like I found a place that offers placement
More like sleeping on pavement, dreaming of melodies
That tell of good fortune once the cookies are broken
Scaling back the dependencies
Prescription pill popping drug induced indecencies
Blowing up in a cloud of smoke
Are the chances to succeed, if you keep smoking dope
There is no relaxation within a state of confusion
Forgetting the whereabouts of things that are free
Given away motivation at a cheap price usually
Rain drops falling on a scatterbrained rooftop
There is no bottom on the top of a soapbox
There’s only one reason to keep it all in
Don’t want to scare those with a brain and a pen
Otherwise, we celebrate the greatness that suffering yields
Decaying ever so rapidly, is the state of our nothingness
Sticky fingertips give way to long hands and deep pockets
Searching for change to pay their way modestly
Claustrophobia perhaps could be less prevalent
Complaining about it could more or less be irrelevant
Than the last page of rambling transcript deciphered in here
Conditions are slightly better in the footnotes of poverty
Paying back debts that weigh heavy like gravity
Slowly but surely, we are breaking away from the forces that bind
Blinded by the better half
Surrounded in the aftermath
Of a much brighter future
That lies ahead in the distant path
Gotta get up move, it’s 3:00am on a Wednesday
Turn the clock backwards, let’s pretend that it’s yesterday
Romanticizing in a recliner chair, in the midst of a rain delay
Quite frankly, Lady Luck hasn’t been too lucky of late
It’s hard to get over when the main event is in the preliminary bout
Without any ring music, jerking the curtain
Lets take nothing away from the credentials
A miserable footprint in the pathway of principles
Better look closer. Because Goals and dreams are objects of fear
Objectively speaking, as the moment appears
In the rearview mirror, a distant distortion
Blatantly reported like it’s the news of the day
A little bit rusty but you know what they say
The squeaky wheel always gets the grease
Hate if you must, appease if you will
Forgiveness is just another bottle of pills
That you take down with water
Drowning in the bitter solitude that life has to offer
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
April Flowers
To whom it may concern,
No job No money No friends No hunnies
No mission No goals No passion No lovely
Masterpieces to write about tonight
Instead it’s bricks and bones, balls, sticks, and stones
Not very glamorous from the outside looking in
But the inside is burning from being locked in
A cage, a cell, the basement, it’s hell
Afraid to tell others because they know me too well
To sit and complain on my high horse, a stain
On an otherwise lofty list of accomplishments
Places I’ve been too – all the things that I’ve become
Cooked and burnt, left for dead now I’m done
Wallowing in insignificant distain, patiently playing the waiting game
It all comes in due time, but the longer I wait, the stronger I climb
Out of this shell and into the ashes – of ineptitude
Look at me now man it sucks to be you. The truth hurts sometimes
When you’re climbing out of conditions you wished were much simpler
Suffering is relative, but I refuse to let this moment give in
Never let it go. The faith is too strong - it’s the only thing worth holding onto
Letting everything else go - not sure how else I’m supposed to
Stay strong and confident – lacking all the fundamentals
There go all the credentials, right out of the window
Humility is a dying breed – but right now I’m modestly clawing my way back into society
Fully functional and happy – that all of these circumstances mean nothing to me
Because God is back on my side – the stronger the temptations, the stronger the tide
Pulls me back into reality – nothing to offer right now, come back later
But in the meantime I’m taking all the right steps
Keep marching forward – never looking back
The memories are fond but I bid them farewell
Cause I got my eyes set on a far greater prize
Than money or fame could ever supposedly buy
Its living life like it’s supposed to be done
A man of many faces, but this is what I’ve become
A soldier of fortune, it’s my season to shine
A little bit older, a whole lot wiser
And for better or worse I’m just beginning to crawl
Over these walls and into the vast horizon
Arms outstretched, every muscle is fighting
Working, earning, savoring, learning
That sometimes the hardest falls bring forth character flaws
No I’m not perfect but I’m gonna give it my all
To get back on my feet, defeat all this debt that has been encompassing me
No longer will this master status be stumbling backward
Time to tally the losses and regain the lost stature
Rename my new swagger – not accepting anything resembling failure
Retreat is not an option this time around
The challenges are endless but so is my perseverance
All of the years of insignificant benevolence
Helps me keep my guard up regardless of circumstance
Grave yard shift, sitting here craving the innocence
Making the most out of the blessings and favor
That God brings my way, I’ll never sit wayward
Instead I’m jumping on top of opportunity
Writing it down because it will pass way more fluently
Than it ever has before
This is my story – rags to riches – it may take some time but I’m drawing the pictures
Ever so softly – it doesn’t matter that no one is listening
Because like it or not, my heart of gold is glistening
Shining brighter than it ever has before
Cause I finally got the support I’ve been praying for
That’s all that I need to break through this storm
No job No money No friends No hunnies
No mission No goals No passion No lovely
Masterpieces to write about tonight
Instead it’s bricks and bones, balls, sticks, and stones
Not very glamorous from the outside looking in
But the inside is burning from being locked in
A cage, a cell, the basement, it’s hell
Afraid to tell others because they know me too well
To sit and complain on my high horse, a stain
On an otherwise lofty list of accomplishments
Places I’ve been too – all the things that I’ve become
Cooked and burnt, left for dead now I’m done
Wallowing in insignificant distain, patiently playing the waiting game
It all comes in due time, but the longer I wait, the stronger I climb
Out of this shell and into the ashes – of ineptitude
Look at me now man it sucks to be you. The truth hurts sometimes
When you’re climbing out of conditions you wished were much simpler
Suffering is relative, but I refuse to let this moment give in
Never let it go. The faith is too strong - it’s the only thing worth holding onto
Letting everything else go - not sure how else I’m supposed to
Stay strong and confident – lacking all the fundamentals
There go all the credentials, right out of the window
Humility is a dying breed – but right now I’m modestly clawing my way back into society
Fully functional and happy – that all of these circumstances mean nothing to me
Because God is back on my side – the stronger the temptations, the stronger the tide
Pulls me back into reality – nothing to offer right now, come back later
But in the meantime I’m taking all the right steps
Keep marching forward – never looking back
The memories are fond but I bid them farewell
Cause I got my eyes set on a far greater prize
Than money or fame could ever supposedly buy
Its living life like it’s supposed to be done
A man of many faces, but this is what I’ve become
A soldier of fortune, it’s my season to shine
A little bit older, a whole lot wiser
And for better or worse I’m just beginning to crawl
Over these walls and into the vast horizon
Arms outstretched, every muscle is fighting
Working, earning, savoring, learning
That sometimes the hardest falls bring forth character flaws
No I’m not perfect but I’m gonna give it my all
To get back on my feet, defeat all this debt that has been encompassing me
No longer will this master status be stumbling backward
Time to tally the losses and regain the lost stature
Rename my new swagger – not accepting anything resembling failure
Retreat is not an option this time around
The challenges are endless but so is my perseverance
All of the years of insignificant benevolence
Helps me keep my guard up regardless of circumstance
Grave yard shift, sitting here craving the innocence
Making the most out of the blessings and favor
That God brings my way, I’ll never sit wayward
Instead I’m jumping on top of opportunity
Writing it down because it will pass way more fluently
Than it ever has before
This is my story – rags to riches – it may take some time but I’m drawing the pictures
Ever so softly – it doesn’t matter that no one is listening
Because like it or not, my heart of gold is glistening
Shining brighter than it ever has before
Cause I finally got the support I’ve been praying for
That’s all that I need to break through this storm
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
W E A L L F A L L D O W N
Don’t feel like commenting on a broken plane
Flying so low, against the grain – it grabs me steady
So we gonna get ready
Im not a hero or your antidote
For this depressing anecdote
Get on the bandwagon, we’re about to fall off
One by one WE ALL FALL DOWN
ALL FALL DOWN
We all fall down
It doesn’t hurt me now
Cause I feel no pain
All the worthlessness and empty gains
On my bedside – just another night
Of endless sleep – No its not alright
Cause one by one WE ALL FALL DOWN
WE ALL FALL DOWN
We all fall down
Now this is the moment
I’m supposed to ignore all this bullshit
Put my feet on the ground and walk ahead with a purpose
And no it’s not worthless - I know I’m impervious
To this clouded condition they call depression is permanent
It permeates through my body – full of decay and debauchery
When was the last time you stepped foot on my property?
It’s probably been many years – Since we’ve seen through the windowpane
Outlook is distorted when you lack all the simple things
Cause one by one like Dominos – once one has been struck - we all fall down
WE ALL FALL DOWN
We all fall down
Flying so low, against the grain – it grabs me steady
So we gonna get ready
Im not a hero or your antidote
For this depressing anecdote
Get on the bandwagon, we’re about to fall off
One by one WE ALL FALL DOWN
ALL FALL DOWN
We all fall down
It doesn’t hurt me now
Cause I feel no pain
All the worthlessness and empty gains
On my bedside – just another night
Of endless sleep – No its not alright
Cause one by one WE ALL FALL DOWN
WE ALL FALL DOWN
We all fall down
Now this is the moment
I’m supposed to ignore all this bullshit
Put my feet on the ground and walk ahead with a purpose
And no it’s not worthless - I know I’m impervious
To this clouded condition they call depression is permanent
It permeates through my body – full of decay and debauchery
When was the last time you stepped foot on my property?
It’s probably been many years – Since we’ve seen through the windowpane
Outlook is distorted when you lack all the simple things
Cause one by one like Dominos – once one has been struck - we all fall down
WE ALL FALL DOWN
We all fall down
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Bankz 3:16 (March 16)
Need some verbal stimulation so I can finish up this masterpiece
Need a bootleg in the background - running solo’s got a hold o’ me
And nothing seems to come easy these days
But its all part of the plan now, don’t need to misbehave
And ruin what is right now a perfect disaster
Got no patience to spell it out to you perfectly
It’ll probably end up just like a catastrophe
Welcome to my world, son
Where the sun hides forever under the moon
And the only star to come out at the midnight hour
Is an aging comet, stranded outside, taken to pasture
Motto used to be “no worries”
But now it’s like the opposite, I feel like I’m nervously hurried
To make some better plans, instead of sittin on the sidelines with my head in my hands
So hard to get motivated when everything seems so outdated and useless
Like my past accomplishments – but what I have done lately
Nothing but bullshit
Would like to think that better days are on the horizon
But these broken down fragments of greatness are dryin’
Up like an eroded old riverbed – in the pits of the marsh banks
Full of hand grenades and mistakes – toothaches and fallen grace
More humble now than I’ve ever been
Can’t even pretend anymore that things are on the up and in
More like over and out. Belay my last, gotta get rid of these inklings of doubt
Batter up batter up, time to step out of my comfort zone
And up to the plate, hit a home run and savor the rays
Of sunshine that peak out of ashtrays
Even on dark, dreary days like today
Although it may be cloudy out
I still got my sunnies on
And my success is like a rearview
Objects in mirror are closer than they really appear
Need a bootleg in the background - running solo’s got a hold o’ me
And nothing seems to come easy these days
But its all part of the plan now, don’t need to misbehave
And ruin what is right now a perfect disaster
Got no patience to spell it out to you perfectly
It’ll probably end up just like a catastrophe
Welcome to my world, son
Where the sun hides forever under the moon
And the only star to come out at the midnight hour
Is an aging comet, stranded outside, taken to pasture
Motto used to be “no worries”
But now it’s like the opposite, I feel like I’m nervously hurried
To make some better plans, instead of sittin on the sidelines with my head in my hands
So hard to get motivated when everything seems so outdated and useless
Like my past accomplishments – but what I have done lately
Nothing but bullshit
Would like to think that better days are on the horizon
But these broken down fragments of greatness are dryin’
Up like an eroded old riverbed – in the pits of the marsh banks
Full of hand grenades and mistakes – toothaches and fallen grace
More humble now than I’ve ever been
Can’t even pretend anymore that things are on the up and in
More like over and out. Belay my last, gotta get rid of these inklings of doubt
Batter up batter up, time to step out of my comfort zone
And up to the plate, hit a home run and savor the rays
Of sunshine that peak out of ashtrays
Even on dark, dreary days like today
Although it may be cloudy out
I still got my sunnies on
And my success is like a rearview
Objects in mirror are closer than they really appear
Friday, March 11, 2011
March flies
Why does it seem like dreams are the only means to fulfillment?
Reliving the past screams - viral images of resiliency
But realistically speaking, when I wake up a tank full of sharks
Who’s gonna be with me to tread on these muddy waters?
Challenges
Discouragement is a harsh reality in these words that I spit. Because it feels like I’m just barely breathing, sinking in the pits and underachieving. Realistically speaking, things could be more challenging. And I could always try harder. But the harder I try, the longer I fall. Depression of the past was much worse than right now. But hope for a strong future is sounding like yesterday - instead of what it should be - tomorrow.
Humility
Living in the basement.
No steady girlfriend or room for advancement.
Dirt bone broke, poor like a peasant
In a global society where I’m not an active participant
Afraid of my past accomplishments
Becoming more and irrelevant, with each passing day
Faith
God is out there. He might let me fall on my face but he will not let me drown. Faith is the substance, evidence is unseen. And to the naked eye, beauty can be unclean. And happiness is a state of mind, resulting from improper virtue. And a truth followed blindly can sometimes discourage you. But don’t let it in. Instead hold on to the faith that you have stored from within.
Reliving the past screams - viral images of resiliency
But realistically speaking, when I wake up a tank full of sharks
Who’s gonna be with me to tread on these muddy waters?
Challenges
Discouragement is a harsh reality in these words that I spit. Because it feels like I’m just barely breathing, sinking in the pits and underachieving. Realistically speaking, things could be more challenging. And I could always try harder. But the harder I try, the longer I fall. Depression of the past was much worse than right now. But hope for a strong future is sounding like yesterday - instead of what it should be - tomorrow.
Humility
Living in the basement.
No steady girlfriend or room for advancement.
Dirt bone broke, poor like a peasant
In a global society where I’m not an active participant
Afraid of my past accomplishments
Becoming more and irrelevant, with each passing day
Faith
God is out there. He might let me fall on my face but he will not let me drown. Faith is the substance, evidence is unseen. And to the naked eye, beauty can be unclean. And happiness is a state of mind, resulting from improper virtue. And a truth followed blindly can sometimes discourage you. But don’t let it in. Instead hold on to the faith that you have stored from within.
Friday, February 4, 2011
The Unraveling
They say nothin’ is impossible
But I got all these insurmountable obstacles
Staring at me, waiting to flinch
Give me an inch, I’ll give you a mile
Words don’t mean shit till you’ve walked a mile in my shoes
Yesterday’s news seemed a little bit happier
Seems like happy days have done passed me by
Here I am in all of my glory
With nothing to offer you but this bogus ass story
Of pity and remorse, of course you get the idea
Another year older and farther away from reaching the goals that I’ve set
Life is not like a masterpiece
INfact it’s quite the opposite
It’s like an everyday struggle to try to stay positive
A beautiful mind, wasted away in the pits of mediocrity
Such an atrocity to not give a fuck anymore, I’m like a rotting tree
Free from my roots, I have no attachments
No people, no money, man nothing else matters
But I got all these insurmountable obstacles
Staring at me, waiting to flinch
Give me an inch, I’ll give you a mile
Words don’t mean shit till you’ve walked a mile in my shoes
Yesterday’s news seemed a little bit happier
Seems like happy days have done passed me by
Here I am in all of my glory
With nothing to offer you but this bogus ass story
Of pity and remorse, of course you get the idea
Another year older and farther away from reaching the goals that I’ve set
Life is not like a masterpiece
INfact it’s quite the opposite
It’s like an everyday struggle to try to stay positive
A beautiful mind, wasted away in the pits of mediocrity
Such an atrocity to not give a fuck anymore, I’m like a rotting tree
Free from my roots, I have no attachments
No people, no money, man nothing else matters
Thursday, January 13, 2011
random Notes - January 2011
Thanks for the memories. The ones that make me realize that my eyes were far away from the prize, looking for greener pastures that lie awake on the horizon. It always felt like my timing was off, just for a split second. But in a minute’s mistake, that proved to be the toughest disaster. Falling flat on my face, such a catastrophie. Perscription pill poppin, wishing I still believed…
In love with first sight, yeah right, mabee lustful delight. Tossing and turning cause I can’t even sleep at night. Relationships have been futile, and my attitude grows more senile, by each passing moment. Instead of holding on to them, I cheerfully let them all go. Right down the drain. Turn around, fall down and I’m back at it again, here comes the pain. Back in the rain on a lonesome dark night. Fighting for words to make everything seem alright.
God, I know that I’ll never be prosperious if I’m always searching for fools gold
This launching pad is my shelter and it never gets old
No matter how much I complain about misery. I’m still so damn thankful for you bringing me
Out of depression, in the tourcherous hell. Missery loves company, that much I can tell.
Although I’m much older than when I would first right to you.
One thing remains and that will always stay true.
No matter what, I know my faith is larger than a mustard seed.
And you told me that with my faith ever so strong, I’ll be stronger than my enemies
I’ll never give into complatency. I know I have passion, please give me the fire.
And all these lustful desires – please take them away.
Please give me the positive energy that ever so often, I’m able to proudly display.
It’s not about money, good fortune, or possessions.
It’s about finding the positive attitude that lifts me up, from the pits of depression.
In love with first sight, yeah right, mabee lustful delight. Tossing and turning cause I can’t even sleep at night. Relationships have been futile, and my attitude grows more senile, by each passing moment. Instead of holding on to them, I cheerfully let them all go. Right down the drain. Turn around, fall down and I’m back at it again, here comes the pain. Back in the rain on a lonesome dark night. Fighting for words to make everything seem alright.
God, I know that I’ll never be prosperious if I’m always searching for fools gold
This launching pad is my shelter and it never gets old
No matter how much I complain about misery. I’m still so damn thankful for you bringing me
Out of depression, in the tourcherous hell. Missery loves company, that much I can tell.
Although I’m much older than when I would first right to you.
One thing remains and that will always stay true.
No matter what, I know my faith is larger than a mustard seed.
And you told me that with my faith ever so strong, I’ll be stronger than my enemies
I’ll never give into complatency. I know I have passion, please give me the fire.
And all these lustful desires – please take them away.
Please give me the positive energy that ever so often, I’m able to proudly display.
It’s not about money, good fortune, or possessions.
It’s about finding the positive attitude that lifts me up, from the pits of depression.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
