Not Really a Setback (But Kind Of)

No longer on my own anymore
Humility has rose uproariously
Confidence has declined drastically
But regardless of circumstance, it’s still a major step back.

Its nice to be home but I feel so alone.
Inside of a room where I don’t feel so grown
Up is a mouthful because down brings the nightfall
And at the end of the day, it’s Hairy like Pitfall.
Starting to get ambitiously impatient
But I don’t know what to direct my ambivalence towards.

Friendly confines is like standing upright in the KFC lunch line
Everyone wants grease in their chicken breast wings.
The gym offers recluse from the annoying monotony
The day to day drizzle that stares out in front of me



Never ending, ever endless is the desire to start something new
But the older I get, the longer the odds are skewed
Against my favor
Take it for what it’s worth, this is a period of worthlessness
Drowning in a cup of wintergreen Nyquil

Patience is beginning to wear thin
Where within these bounds is there room to circulate?
The stale air is prevalent yet comforting
Just sucks that my least favorite failure is becoming my everything
Trying to get bigger on the outside
And cleaner on the inside
But in between leaks a much greater compromise

Back in the day, God used to talk to me
Call it a crazy coincidence, but it all used to make sense to me
And now it’s like I found a place that offers placement
More like sleeping on pavement, dreaming of melodies
That tell of good fortune once the cookies are broken

Scaling back the dependencies
Prescription pill popping drug induced indecencies
Blowing up in a cloud of smoke
Are the chances to succeed, if you keep smoking dope
There is no relaxation within a state of confusion
Forgetting the whereabouts of things that are free
Given away motivation at a cheap price usually

Rain drops falling on a scatterbrained rooftop
There is no bottom on the top of a soapbox
There’s only one reason to keep it all in
Don’t want to scare those with a brain and a pen
Otherwise, we celebrate the greatness that suffering yields
Decaying ever so rapidly, is the state of our nothingness
Sticky fingertips give way to long hands and deep pockets
Searching for change to pay their way modestly

Claustrophobia perhaps could be less prevalent
Complaining about it could more or less be irrelevant
Than the last page of rambling transcript deciphered in here

Conditions are slightly better in the footnotes of poverty
Paying back debts that weigh heavy like gravity
Slowly but surely, we are breaking away from the forces that bind
Blinded by the better half
Surrounded in the aftermath
Of a much brighter future
That lies ahead in the distant path

Gotta get up move, it’s 3:00am on a Wednesday
Turn the clock backwards, let’s pretend that it’s yesterday
Romanticizing in a recliner chair, in the midst of a rain delay

Quite frankly, Lady Luck hasn’t been too lucky of late
It’s hard to get over when the main event is in the preliminary bout
Without any ring music, jerking the curtain

Lets take nothing away from the credentials
A miserable footprint in the pathway of principles
Better look closer. Because Goals and dreams are objects of fear
Objectively speaking, as the moment appears
In the rearview mirror, a distant distortion
Blatantly reported like it’s the news of the day
A little bit rusty but you know what they say
The squeaky wheel always gets the grease

Hate if you must, appease if you will
Forgiveness is just another bottle of pills
That you take down with water
Drowning in the bitter solitude that life has to offer